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  • 通过童年线索找到人生方向|Finding Your Mission in Life-The Playful Way

    往下拉阅读中文版。 🌟 “I Don’t Know What I Want to Be Yet” — And That’s Okay People often ask, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”  Maybe you’ve been asked that a lot. And maybe you don’t know the answer. Guess what? That’s totally okay. In fact, it’s a great place to start. 🔍  The Clues Are Hiding in Your Childhood Here’s a little secret: One of the best ways to figure out what you might  want to do in the future...is to look backward  — to when you were younger. Why? Because when you were little, you did things just because they made you happy. You weren’t thinking about money, grades, or being “good enough.” You followed your curiosity. You had fun. And those fun memories? They hold important clues about what still matters to you deep down. 💖 🎈 Step 1: Remember What You Loved Think of three things  you loved  doing when you were younger. Ask yourself: Where did I love to play? What did I do on rainy afternoons at home? What made me lose track of time? ✏️ Step 2: Write the Memories Down Now, write a few short sentences about each one. Keep it real and specific. For example: 🗺️ “I used to draw maps of made-up worlds and name the cities myself.” 🎤 “I pretended I had a radio show and interviewed my stuffed animals.” 🎨 “I made costumes out of old clothes and wore them around the house.” 🌟 Step 3: What Felt Magical? Think: What was the best part  of each moment? Was it when the map started to look real? Was it when your toys answered your silly questions? Was it when your costume looked just right ? Then go deeper: 🌈 “I loved making something from my imagination.” 📣 “I liked being the one who got to talk and share.” 🎯 “I felt proud when I created something real.” 📋 “I liked being the one who made the rules.” 💬 Step 4: Say Who You Are Now turn those memories into truths about yourself. I’m someone who likes  making up worlds I’m someone who likes  telling stories I’m someone who likes  turning ideas into real things I’m someone who likes  leading and organizing fun ✨ Why This Matters As we grow up, we start to worry about grades, jobs, money, or being “good enough.” Sometimes, we stop doing what makes us feel alive. But if you go back and listen to what your younger self  loved, you’ll find a clearer picture of what really lights you up. You don’t have to figure everything out right now. But you can  take the first step by asking: “What did I love before anyone told me what I should  love?”  That’s where your path might begin. 💛 🎒So, what did you  love to do as a kid? Write it down, and let’s see where it takes you. 🎈 你还不知道自己想做什么?太正常了! 很多人都说我们要“找到自己的梦想”或“未来的方向”,听起来好像你现在就应该知道你以后要干什么了。但其实,最好的开始方式就是诚实地说一句: “我现在还不知道我想做什么。” 这不是失败哦,而是一个特别棒的起点。💡 🌱 真正的“人生线索”藏在哪里? 奇怪的是,我们最真实的兴趣和热情,常常藏在一个很早的地方: 童年。 小时候的我们,会做一些事只是因为我们喜欢。我们不会考虑钱,不会管别人怎么看,也不在乎做得好不好。我们就是因为开心、好奇,就去做了。所以,回想小时候的爱好,可以帮我们找到现在真正感兴趣的东西。 🧸 第一步:回到童年的你 闭上眼睛,想想你小时候最喜欢做的三件事。比如: 你喜欢在哪里玩? 雨天一个人在房间的时候,你在干嘛? 什么活动会让你玩得忘记时间? ✏️ 第二步:写出这些画面 每一件事写几句话,不用写得很长,但要具体一点。例如: 🗺️“我常常在纸上画想象中的国家地图,还会给每个城市取名字,画上小河流和高山。” 🎤“我假装自己是电台主持人,给玩具采访、放音乐,录下来自己听。” 🌟 第三步:什么让你最开心? 想一想,那些小时候的活动里,什么部分最让你快乐?也许是: 当地图慢慢变得像个真正的国家 当你“采访”的玩具说出有趣的回答 当你自己做的衣服真的穿起来像电影里一样 当别人开始认真玩你设计的游戏 那时候你内心有什么感觉?是: 🎨 “我好喜欢创造一个全新的世界。” 🎙️ “我喜欢用声音和大家分享快乐。” 🛠️ “我喜欢看到我的点子变成真的。” 🧭 “我喜欢制定规则,然后带领大家一起玩。” 🔍 第四步:总结你是谁 现在,把这些小时候的快乐时光,变成几句简单的话: 我是一个喜欢…… 想象世界的人 我是一个喜欢…… 讲故事和交流的人 我是一个喜欢…… 把点子变成现实的人 我是一个喜欢…… 组织大家一起玩的人 ☁️ 为什么这些很重要? 长大之后,我们会越来越担心: 要不要赚钱? 别人怎么看? 会不会失败? 这些压力会慢慢盖住我们最初的热情和梦想。但如果你愿意重新认识那个小时候的自己,你会发现 - 原来你早就知道,什么事能真正让你开心。 你未来做的工作、生活方式,哪怕只是和小时候的快乐“有一点像”,都会让你链接到一种“对了”的感觉,那就是 - “嗯,这就是我想做的事。” 🌟所以,不着急找答案。先找回你自己。 💬你小时候最喜欢做什么呢?写下来,我们一起看看里面藏着哪些线索吧!

  • 理解我们在亲密关系中的防御机制|Defensiveness in relationships

    往下拉阅读中文版。 A guide to growing through love, not overreacting to it Have you ever had someone say, “Hey, could you not do that?” Or, “That kind of bothered me…”And even if they were being calm and kind — you still felt like they were attacking  you? If so, you’re not alone. That feeling is called defensiveness . And it’s one of the biggest reasons people argue, break trust, or drift apart — in friendships, in families, even in dating. ✦  What is Defensiveness? Defensiveness is what happens when: Someone gives us feedback And instead of staying open, we get upset, shut down, or fight back It might sound like: “Okay, but you  do it too!” “Why are you always picking on me?” “You just don’t get it.” Total silence and stormy vibes The goal of defensiveness is to protect ourselves . We don’t want to feel wrong, embarrassed, or hurt. That’s understandable — but if it becomes a habit, it can damage relationships we care about. ✦  Why Do We Get So Defensive? Most of us didn’t choose  to be defensive. It usually comes from earlier life stuff, like: Feeling judged a lot as a kid Being around adults who yelled instead of explained Learning that love disappears when we mess up So now, when someone says, “Hey, that bothered me,” it doesn’t just feel like a comment. It feels like rejection . Even if it’s just about how we tell stories or do chores. ✦  But Here's the Truth: Feedback isn’t the enemy. - It’s a part of love. You don’t have to be perfect. - You just have to be willing to grow. Not all criticism is an insult. - Sometimes it’s just someone saying, “This is how I feel — can we fix it together?” ✦  Healthier Relationships Feel Like This: Imagine a relationship where… You can say, “Hey, that joke kinda hurt my feelings,” And your friend says, “Oh — I didn’t know! Thanks for telling me.” ✅ Or your sibling says, “Can you be quieter in the morning?” And instead of yelling, you say, “Okay, I’ll try.” ✅ That’s not weakness. That’s emotional strength . ✦  Things to Try Instead of Overreacting: When someone gives you feedback, try this: Pause.  (Even just 3 seconds.) Breathe.  (Seriously. It helps your brain calm down.) Ask yourself: “Is this about me as a person, or just something I can work on?” “Are they trying to hurt me — or help us get along better?” Say something like: “Thanks for letting me know.” “I didn’t realize that. I’ll think about it.” “I didn’t mean it that way, but I get where you’re coming from.” ✦  You’re Allowed to Grow You’re not locked into who you were last year — or even last week. A real friend (or future partner) doesn’t need you to be perfect. They just want someone who cares enough to improve . And if they’re a good person, they’ll try to grow too. ✦  Practice Line (for the Bold!): Next time you’re building a friendship or relationship, try saying: “I’m trying to get better at taking feedback without freaking out. Let me know how I’m doing.” It might feel scary to say. But it shows courage, maturity, and the kind of emotional openness that makes relationships actually last . ✦  Final Thought It’s okay to get things wrong. It’s okay to feel sensitive. But learning how to listen , breathe , and respond with care ? That’s how we go from drama… to real connection. Love isn’t about being perfect. It’s about growing together . And sometimes the most mature thing you can say in a relationship is: “Thank you for telling me.” 你有没有这种时候,朋友对你说:“你刚刚那样让我不太舒服。”你立刻回:“我哪有?你想太多了吧!” 或者有人提醒你一个小习惯,你一下子就不开心,觉得:“你是不是在说我不好?” 别担心,这不是你一个人的问题。这种情绪反应,有个名字,叫做 - 防御机制 。 🛡️  什么是“防御机制”? 就是当别人给我们一点建议、反馈,我们会 下意识地保护自己 ,就像套上了一层“盔甲”。因为我们怕被批评、怕不被喜欢,所以在别人还没伤害我们之前,我们先“反击”回去,或者装作没事。 😢  这盔甲从哪儿来的? 很多时候,这盔甲是小时候慢慢长出来的。可能你小时候做错事就被骂、被冷落,久了,你就学会了一个信念:“如果我不完美,我就会被讨厌。” 于是你变得特别在意别人的评价,别人稍微说一句,就像“要被赶出圈”的感觉。 👀  可是,关系不该是“战场” 如果我们总是把别人的反馈当作“攻击”,就会很难真正去理解对方,也会让亲密的关系变得紧张。 比如: 🌪️ 朋友只是说:“你今天好像有点冷漠。”你却觉得:“你凭什么说我?我不就这样吗?” 但你有没有想过,也许对方说这句话,其实是想 和你好好相处 ,希望你们的关系可以 更舒服、更靠近 。 🧭  怎么让自己更成熟地面对关系? 不如试试这几个“思维切换”: 🌈  1. 不是每句话都是攻击 别人说你一点小事,不一定是在否定你,可能只是想让你们相处更顺利。 🌱  2. 你不用完美,也值得被喜欢 你不需要做到100分才有人愿意陪你。只要你愿意成长,愿意倾听,就已经很好了。 🧩  3. 你可以说“我会想一想”,而不是立刻反驳 下次当你被提醒时,试着说一句:“我知道你是好意,我再想一想。”这一句温柔的话,可能会让你们的关系变得比以前更亲密。 💬  真正亲密的人,不怕讲“真话” 在好的关系里,大家都不是完美人,但愿意 互相提醒、互相成长 。当有一天,你能在听到一句“我不太喜欢你这样”时,不炸毛、不逃避,而是平静地说:“谢谢你告诉我,我没注意到。” 那就是你真正成长的开始。🌱 ❤️  最后给你的一个小叮咛: 我们不需要永远穿着盔甲,我们可以慢慢学会, 在安全的人面前,脱下防备,学会信任与理解 。因为真正的关系不是“谁赢谁输”,而是 一起成为更好的自己 。

  • 健康亲密关系的五个律动|5 rhythm of a healthy relationship

    往下拉阅读中文版。 A guide for teens and young adults Almost everyone wants to find love — the kind that feels safe, exciting, fun, and lasts a long time. But if we look around, truly happy couples are kind of rare. You might wonder: Why is love so hard to find — and even harder to keep? Maybe you’ve already started noticing it: people who date for a while and then break up, couples who seem perfect at first and then start fighting, or even adults who stay together but don’t seem very happy. So what’s really going on? 💬  First, It’s Not Just You If you’ve had some awkward crushes or tough relationship moments, you’re not alone. It’s not because you’re bad at love or broken inside. Most people struggle with relationships — even if they look confident or post cute photos online. That’s because love isn’t just about finding the right person . It’s about learning the right skills. 💡  Real Love Isn’t a Magical Feeling — It’s a Grown-Up Skill Set Sure, crushes feel magical. And yes, chemistry is fun. But those feelings don’t last forever. After a while, what really keeps love going is not luck or looks — it’s emotional maturity. That means knowing how to handle conflict, how to talk openly, how to say sorry, and how to stay kind even when you’re upset. 🧭  5 Big Skills That Make Love Work Here are five emotional habits that help love grow — and last: Admitting when you mess up.  - Not blaming, not hiding — just saying, “Yeah, that was my fault.” Letting yourself be vulnerable.  - It’s okay to say, “I’m scared,” or “That hurt my feelings.” That’s being brave. Being kind when the other person is having a bad day.  - Instead of snapping, you say, “It’s okay. I’ve been there too.” Accepting each other’s weirdness.  - Everyone has quirks. Real love means saying, “You’re a little strange — but I love that.” Not letting anger stick around.  - Talk it out. Forgive. Keep the admiration alive. 🌱  These Skills Take Practice If you’re thinking, “Wait, I’m not very good at this stuff,” — that’s totally okay . Nobody’s born knowing how to do it. That’s why love is something we learn — just like riding a bike or cooking a new recipe. Every friendship, family moment, or little relationship is a chance to practice. ✨  What Real Love Looks Like It’s not perfect. It’s not always exciting. It’s not without mistakes. But it’s steady. It’s honest. It’s full of learning and growing together. Real love means choosing to understand someone, even when they’re annoying.  It means being gentle with each other’s mistakes — and cheering for each other’s growth. 📣  One Last Thing You don’t have to rush into love. You don’t have to be perfect to be loved. And you don’t have to settle for less just because “everyone else is doing it.” The love you deserve will come from emotional strength , good communication , and mutual respect  — not just feelings and flirting. So take your time. Be curious. Keep growing.  Because love isn’t just something you feel. It’s something you build. 你有没有偷偷想过:“为什么别人看起来那么幸福,而我总是遇不到对的人?” 你不是一个人,很多人都这么想过。我们都渴望被爱,想遇见真正懂自己、愿意和自己一起走下去的人。可很多时候,关系一开始很甜,最后却无声无息地消失了。 💔  那些关系,为什么走着走着就散了? 我们常以为:爱一个人,靠感觉就好。但你有没有发现: 🔹 有些人刚开始很好,但一吵架就变了 🔹 有些人明明很喜欢彼此,却总是伤害对方 🔹 有些人谈了很多次恋爱,却还是不懂怎么“好好在一起” 这不是运气不好,而是因为 - 真正的“爱”,是需要有能力的。 💡  能让一段关系长久的,是这五个“律动”: 1. 承认自己的不完美,而不是假装很厉害 没人是完美的。我们都有小情绪、坏习惯、做错事的时候。真正的亲密,是敢承认这些:“对不起,我刚刚太冲动了。”而不是永远都得当“优秀学生”。 2. 愿意表达脆弱,而不是一直逞强 你可以说“我今天心情不好”,可以说“我有点不安,你能来抱抱我吗”,不需要每次都装作什么都不在乎。 能坦白感受,是勇气,不是软弱。 3. 对对方的小缺点温柔一点,而不是动不动就想“改造”他/她 谁都有不让人满意的地方:可能他很慢热,她很敏感。重要的不是“改掉对方”,而是你们能不能 学着理解、一起调整节奏。 4. 接住那些“不太正常的情绪” 有时候,对方会突然情绪低落、话变少、脾气变差。不是不爱你了,而是ta也在经历自己的情绪风暴。你能不能做那个 不急着责怪、愿意等一等 的人? 5. 别让失望变成“长期怨气” 每段关系都会有失望的时候:考试没考好、忽略了对方的感受、误会了彼此。问题不是失望本身,而是你们愿不愿意 坐下来,好好讲清楚,然后继续走下去。 🧭  真正让关系稳住的,不是颜值、也不是浪漫 你可能以为: “要有共同爱好才适合。” “要很有话聊才长久。” “要没有争吵才是真爱。” 但其实,真正能让你们走很远的,是彼此在“最不好相处”的时刻, 还能看见对方的好,还愿意一起成长。 🪴  爱,是一种可以练习的“肌肉” 即使你现在觉得自己还不会好好相处、还不懂爱人、还容易冲动,都没有关系。 只要愿意学习、愿意觉察、愿意一次次练习,你就会慢慢长出爱的能力。 我们谁都不需要去当“完美的另一半”,而是和另一个人, 慢慢变成更好的我们。 ❤️  最后送你一句成长中的小情话: “我没有很完美,但我愿意学着更温柔地靠近你。” “你也不需要很完美,只要愿意让我靠近。” 这,就是我们值得拥有的爱。

  • 读懂自己与他人的应激反应|Understand our trauma response

    往下拉阅读中文版。 A guide for when your emotions feel huge Let’s be honest: Sometimes we totally freak out . Over schoolwork.Over a text that didn’t get a reply. Over something someone said — or didn’t say. Over a deadline, a mistake, or a weird look in the hallway. And later? We usually calm down. We might even laugh about it. We wonder: Why did that feel like such a big deal? But in the moment? It felt like the sky was falling. ✦  You're Not Alone Here’s a secret: Everyone overreacts sometimes.  Yes, everyone. Even the “calm” people. Even the ones who seem like they’ve got it all together. The brain is fast. Emotions are faster. And when something feels new, scary, or just too much — it makes sense  that we’d get overwhelmed. ✦  It Starts When We're Little Think about a little kid who sees a dog and screams — Not because the dog is scary, but because it’s big, and loud, and they’ve never seen one before. Everything is huge when it’s new -  The first time someone yells at you? Feels like the end of the world.The first time your friend ignores you? Totally crushing. Over time, we usually  get better at calming down. But sometimes, those big reactions stick around — especially if no one ever helped us handle them. ✦  What Helps (and What Doesn’t) 🙅‍♂️ “Stop being dramatic!” 🙅‍♀️ “It’s not that bad!” Those words don’t help. (They never  really do.) But you know what does? ✅ Someone who stays calm when you're upset ✅ Someone who says, “I get why you’re feeling this way” ✅ Someone who doesn’t panic — and helps you breathe through it If you didn’t grow up with someone like that, it’s not your fault.  But here’s the amazing news: You can learn  to be that person for yourself — and maybe even for others, too. ✦  Practice: “Zoom Out” for a Moment Next time your heart is racing and your mind is spiraling, try this: Pause.  Even for five seconds. Breathe.  (Yes, really. Deep in… and out.) Ask:  “Will this matter next week?” Ask:  “What else is true right now?” Because yes, the email was stressful. But also — the sky is beautiful today. And your friend sent a funny meme. And you are  learning how to handle hard things. Not everything is a disaster. Some things are just… annoying. Or awkward. Or temporary. ✦  Remember This About Other People Sometimes when people snap, shut down, or overreact, we think: “Wow, what’s wrong with them?” But maybe they’re just overwhelmed. Just like you  are sometimes. They’re not terrible. They’re just human — having a big feeling they don’t know what to do with. ✦  You Don’t Have to Be Perfect You’ll still overreact sometimes. That’s okay. You’re still learning. So are other people. But now you know something powerful: Not every loud feeling is telling the full story. And you can  learn to breathe, pause, and choose a calmer path. Not to be “good.”But to feel better . ✦  Final Thought You are not “too much.” You are not “too sensitive.” You just feel things deeply — and no one ever taught you how to handle those feelings. But it’s never too late to learn. And the more you practice staying steady in storms — the more you become that steady person for others, too. That’s not weakness. That’s real strength . 你有没有过这种时候? 🎒 工作做不完,整个人快炸了 📱 手机不见了,就像天要塌下来 😠 和朋友吵架,觉得全世界都在针对你 🖥️ 一次小小的失误,就想对自己彻底失望 这些时候,你可能会觉得: 事情糟透了。完蛋了。撑不下去了。 但过几天你再想起,可能会觉得: “啊?我那时候为什么这么激动啊?”“好像也没多严重嘛……” 😮  我们为什么会“反应过度”? 其实,这不是你的错。很多人小时候,都没有学过 怎么正确看待事情的“大小” 。小时候犯了错,大人不是说“没事啦”,而是惊叫:“天啊你怎么回事!”有些父母自己的情绪就像过山车,所以他们也不懂得如何 温柔地教孩子冷静下来 。 于是你慢慢长大,学会了: 🌀 小事也很紧张 🌀 遇到问题不知所措 🌀 情绪一来就忍不住爆发 不是你“太敏感”,是 你从来没被好好教过怎么慢慢来 。 🪞  原来,我们都不是唯一这样的人 你觉得自己总是大惊小怪、情绪起伏,但你知道吗,你身边的同学、朋友、甚至爸妈,也都在自己的方式里“反应过度”过。他们只是没有说出来。很多时候,我们看到别人发火或冷漠,其实那只是 他们在保护自己 。就像你一样,不知道该怎么表达,只好选择生气、躲避、爆发。 💬  如果有人懂你,就会不一样 想象一下:在你情绪崩溃时,有一个人不急着批评你,而是说:“你是不是太累了?” “我陪你慢慢讲清楚。” 那一刻,你是不是会感觉 - 自己终于可以安心一点了。 🌱  改变,从觉察开始 虽然以前没人教我们怎么冷静、怎么不慌张,但我们可以从现在开始: ✅ 情绪来的时候,先深呼吸 ✅ 问问自己:“这件事真的有我想的那么严重吗?” ✅ 给自己10分钟冷静下来,再做决定 ✅ 对别人也多一点理解 - 他们可能也只是“没学会更好的表达方式” ✨  最后想告诉你: 你不是情绪化,你只是在人生的路上慢慢学着理解自己。你可以对自己说: “我不是没用,我只是现在还在学习怎么不慌。” “我可以不急着爆炸,我可以停下来看看,是不是真的有这么严重。” “我不需要完美,只需要一次比一次更懂自己。” 生活不是比赛, 不是比谁快才会赢 ,而是 学会在自己的节奏里,慢慢来 。

  • 3个问题,解锁你内在的无限潜能|Unlock Your Unlimited Power

    往下拉阅读中文版。 A message about self-belief, fear, and letting yourself grow Sometimes, it feels like life is just unfair. Some people are born into money. Some get better schools, better support, better chances. The world can seem rigged — like no matter how hard you try, you’re already behind. And honestly? That feeling is not wrong . Yes — things like race, gender, class, and family background make a difference.Yes — some people really do start with more help. Yes — the system needs to change. But here’s a question that’s a little harder to ask: What if part of what holds us back isn’t just outside of us… but inside ? ✦  The Secret Beliefs We Carry We don’t always notice it, but sometimes we tell ourselves quiet stories like: “This dream is too big for someone like me.” “I shouldn’t try too hard, or people might think I’m full of myself.” “If I shine too brightly, I’ll make someone else feel bad.” “If I succeed, I might be alone.” Where do these thoughts come from? Not from facts. But from feelings . Often feelings we picked up a long time ago — in childhood. ✦  Staying Small Felt Safer Maybe when we were younger, we learned that: 💬 Being quiet = being good 💬 Not asking for much = being loved 💬 Not standing out = staying safe So we started playing small. Not because we’re lazy. But because we were scared of what might happen if we really went for it . ✦  Fear Doesn’t Always Look Like Fear Sometimes fear looks like... Skipping the audition Not applying for that opportunity Saying “I don’t care,” when we really do Pretending something “isn’t for us” And then we say: “Maybe I’m just not meant for that kind of life.” But what if we are  — and we just don’t believe it yet? ✦  Other People Are Scared Too You might look at confident, successful people and think: “They must be braver than me.” But sometimes, they’re scared too — just in a different way. Some people chase big goals because they feel like they have  to. They believe: “If I’m not impressive, no one will notice me.” “If I’m not amazing, I won’t be loved.” That belief isn’t healthy either — but it does  push them to try. ✦  Real Power Comes From Permission Success isn’t just about working hard. It’s about giving yourself permission : 🌱 To grow 💡 To change 📣 To speak 🌟 To be seen It’s about asking: “Who told me I needed to stay small?” “Am I afraid of what might happen if I actually succeed?” “What would it feel like to take up more space?” ✦  Try Asking Yourself: What dream have I been hiding because I’m scared people won’t approve? Is there a part of me that feels safer not trying — just in case I fail? Who am I protecting by staying quiet, “nice,” or invisible? ✦  The World Needs You — Fully You The truth is: your full self isn’t too much. Your dream isn’t too big. Your success won’t take away from anyone else. You don’t need to stay small to be loved. You’re allowed to grow. In fact, the world gets better when you do. 你有没有这样想过: “我这么普通,怎么可能做成什么大事?” “那些成功的人都是家里有钱、有背景吧。” “我没有人脉、没有天赋,努力也没用。” “算了,我不行。” 这些念头听起来是不是有点熟悉?它们藏在我们心里,看起来像是在“看清现实”,但其实,恰恰就是这些念头在 偷偷拦住我们往前走 。 🚫  “这世界对我不公平”,真的吗? 当我们告诉自己“反正我不行”,我们就可以安心地不去尝试,不去冒险,也不去面对失败。这样想,真的 比较轻松 ,因为失败就不是“我不够好”,而是“世界太不公平”。但你有没有想过,真正困住你的,可能不是世界,而是你心里那个悄悄说话的声音: “我不够好。” “我不配。” “别人才值得成功。” 🧱  那道看不见的墙,是你自己建的 小时候,有人告诉我们: “太出风头不好,会遭人讨厌。” “你就乖乖的,不要惹事。” 于是我们学会了: 🔸 不主动发言 🔸 不表达想法 慢慢地,我们好像变成了“看起来很好相处的人”,但心里却越来越不敢 大胆做自己 。 🎯  可是你想做的事,真的“不属于你”吗? 你有没有这些时刻: 💡 有一个好点子,却怕被嘲笑,不敢说 👥 遇到很欣赏的人,却退缩不敢靠近 📩 有机会争取,却自动选择放弃 然后你告诉自己:“反正这本来也不是我的。”但你心里其实知道 - 你并不是不想试,而是太害怕了。 🙋‍♂️  问自己几个简单的问题: 🔍 如果我真的成功了,我会不会害怕被人嫉妒? 🔍 如果我变强了,会不会有人不再喜欢我? 🔍 如果我不再讨好别人,我会不会失去什么关系? 如果答案是“有一点点怕”,那就代表,你并不是真的不行,你只是 还没有完全允许自己变得更强、更自由、更真实 。 🔓  所谓“松绑”,是从心里开始的 你不需要等所有人都认可你,才有资格去追梦。你只需要先相信 - 你值得拥有更大的空间 。 你不需要等别人来鼓励,才敢行动。你可以是 第一个为自己加油的人 。 🛤️  最后想告诉你: 真正的成长,不是“突然变得超厉害”,而是 慢慢拆掉心里的那道栅栏 ,学会对自己说: “我想试试。” “我也可以。” “我不完美,但我不该被局限。” 你不必等世界来邀请你,你本来就值得绽放出属于自己的光。

  • 链接你内心的直觉|Access Your Gut Instinct

    往下拉阅读中文版。 A story about the quiet voice inside you Have you ever had a funny feeling about something… but you didn’t know why? Maybe you met someone and just didn’t feel safe — even if they smiled and seemed nice. Or maybe you felt excited about a place or a person before you even knew much about them. Or you heard a tiny voice inside whisper: Say no.   Try again.   Wait.   Go for it.  That quiet little voice? That’s what people sometimes call your gut feeling . And guess what? It’s a superpower you already have. ✦  What Is a Gut Feeling, Anyway? It’s not your stomach talking. 😄 It’s a special kind of knowing — like your heart and body sending you a message. Your gut doesn’t use big words or long explanations. It doesn’t need a reason. It just gives you a feeling . Like: 🌧️ “Something’s not right.” ☀️ “This feels good.” 🌪️ “Be careful.” 🌈 “Yes! Let’s go!” Sometimes your gut speaks quietly. Sometimes it shouts. But it’s always worth listening to. ✦  It’s Like a Secret Helper You know how you don’t have to think  about how to walk or ride a bike anymore? Your body just knows . Your gut works like that too. It notices things your eyes and ears might miss — a strange look, a weird tone, or how someone makes you feel deep down. It puts all that together really fast and says: Hey… pay attention. ✦  But Sometimes, We Ignore It Why?  Because we’re taught to only trust things we can explain. But your gut doesn’t give you reasons. It gives you truthy feelings . And it can be scary to believe in something you can’t “prove.” But how many times have you said: “I knew something felt off… but I didn’t listen”? That’s your gut being wise. Even if your head didn’t catch up yet. ✦  Your Brain & Gut Make a Great Team Your brain likes rules. It likes logic. It says: “They seem nice, so everything must be fine.” “You’ve already spent so much time on this — you shouldn’t stop now.” “That’s what everyone else is doing, so maybe I should too.” But your gut doesn’t care about all that. It cares about what’s really  going on. It doesn’t care how long you’ve tried. It just wants you to be safe, calm, and true to yourself. ✦  So, Should You Always Trust Your Gut? Not always. Sometimes your gut gets scared when there’s no real danger. Like when you’re trying something new — it might whisper “Nooo!” even if you’re just nervous. That’s okay. It’s not about picking just one voice — brain or belly. It’s about learning to listen to both.  Think of it like two wise friends helping you: One speaks with calm thoughts; The other speaks with quick feelings. Put them together… and you’ll usually find the answer you need. ✦  Try This: Next time you’re unsure, pause and ask: 👉 What does my brain think? 👉 What does my gut feel? Then take a deep breath, and see what both voices say. Let them be on the same team. Because you already have everything  you need to decide — right inside you. 🌟 送给正在学会“相信感觉”的你 🌟 你有没有过这样的时刻?有一次,你走进一个地方,明明从来没来过,可你就是觉得怪怪的,不想久待。或者,你刚认识一个人,别人都说他很好,但你心里却有点不舒服,说不出原因,就是不太想靠近。这时候,你的脑袋可能还在想:“为什么呀?”但你的 心 已经偷偷告诉你答案了。 🧭  那是你心里的“小指南针” 每个人心里都有一个神奇的小东西,它不像眼睛能看到,也不像耳朵能听到,它像一位安静的朋友,常常悄悄告诉你: “嗯,我觉得这个地方不太对劲。”“这个人让我有点不舒服。”“这条路,好像更适合我。” 我们叫它 - 直觉 。 🐾  它是一种“感觉”,不是“答案” 直觉不是考试时的标准答案,也不是人们写下的计划表。它更像一只小狗狗,拉着你往某个方向走,你不知道它为什么往那边,但你就是觉得可以跟着它走走看。 🔍  它偷偷帮你注意很多事 你也许不知道,其实你的直觉很聪明!它记住了好多你早就忘记的小事: 🌀 某个人说话时的奇怪语气 🌀 某个地方空气里的紧张气氛 🌀 某个笑容后面藏着的假假感觉 这些东西,理性的大脑可能不会在意,但你的直觉,全都记下来了! 🧘‍♀️  怎样才能听见它? 直觉不是大声喊的那种声音,它很轻、很小,像羽毛落地时的“扑通”。你必须先做一件事 - 静下来。 🌙 找个安静的角落,闭上眼睛,听听你心里有没有一个声音在说话。 🪶 问自己:“我现在真正的感觉是什么?” 你可能会听到: “这件事我不喜欢。” “虽然大家都去,但我不想去。” “我想再想想。” “我其实早就知道答案了。” 🧠  那有了直觉,我们还需要动脑吗? 当然! 动脑筋和凭直觉,是一对好朋友。一个是科学家👨‍🔬,一个是冒险家🧝‍♀️。一起合作,往往能产生意想不到的功效! 🌟  结尾的小问题 亲爱的你,下次遇到选择的时候,不妨这样做: 👂先听听心里的声音在说什么 🧠再想想脑袋里的想法是什么 🤝最后让它们好好握握手,一起决定 因为有时候,你的 直觉 ,比你想得更早知道什么是最适合你的。直觉就像夜空里那颗最亮的星星,不吵不闹,却总会在你迷路时,轻轻为你亮灯。

  • 什么是对孩子好的爱与童年|What's essential for a healthy childhood

    往下拉阅读中文版。 Things you deserve, even if you didn’t always get them Most people grow up thinking: “Some people just get lucky with good families. Others don’t. That’s life.” But here’s the truth: There are some things every child  deserves, no matter where they’re born or who their parents are. Not because childhood should be perfect (it never is!) — but because there are patterns to emotional health. There are real things that help people grow up feeling safe, steady, and strong inside. Let’s talk about what a healthy childhood looks like — and why it matters, even when you’re already a teen or young adult. ✦  1. Someone Shows Up for You In a healthy childhood, someone was really there . They saw when you were upset - even before you said anything. They helped calm your fears, comforted you, and made you feel safe. They didn’t need you to take care of them  first. They weren’t asking for attention. They were just giving  it — because that’s what love does. If you feel grounded and okay inside, even just a little… chances are, someone showed up for you when you needed them most. ✦  2. Someone Believed in the Best Part of You Sometimes, when kids cry, get angry, or act out — adults just call them “bad” or “dramatic.” But in a healthy home, someone takes time to ask: “Are you tired?” “Are you scared?” “Do you just need some kindness right now?” That teaches you a powerful lesson: You’re not your worst moment.  You’re allowed to feel big feelings and still be good inside. ✦  3. Relationships Are Steady In a healthy home, love isn’t all drama and mystery.  It’s calm. Predictable. Maybe even a little boring. And that’s a good  thing.  Because that kind of love teaches you not to chase after people who are hot and cold.  It teaches you to look for kindness, honesty, and peace — not chaos.  When something goes wrong in a friendship or relationship, you don’t panic.  You try to fix it — because you believe you’re worth loving. ✦  4. You’re Allowed to Be Messy You don’t have to be perfect all the time. You’re allowed to make mistakes, say the wrong thing, cry, or get mad. And you’re still loved. In homes like that, kids grow up strong. They don’t become afraid of rules. They also don’t rebel just to feel seen. They find balance — because they know love doesn’t disappear when they mess up. ✦  5. There’s No Competition In a healthy family, your parent or caregiver wants you to shine  — not because it makes them look good, but because they truly want you to do well.  They don’t get jealous. They don’t try to live through you. They don’t pressure you to be “perfect.” They just want you to become your full, unique self. ✦  6. You Learn How to Bounce Back Life has setbacks. In a good childhood, someone teaches you: “It’s okay. You can try again.” They don’t let you fall apart when things go wrong. They help you rebuild.  And one day, their calming voice becomes your inner voice. So when life gets hard, you don’t immediately think: “I can’t do this.” You think: “This is tough… but I’ll figure it out.” ✦  7. You Know It Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect Even in great families, people fight. Parents mess up. Bad days happen. But in a healthy home, the goal isn’t to avoid all pain — it’s to learn how to handle it. That teaches you to be strong and  creative. You learn how to self-soothe, ask for help, and keep going. ✦  8. You See Your Parents as Real People You stop thinking your parents are superheroes…but you also don’t need to see them as villains. You understand: They’re just people. They tried. They failed. They loved you as best they could. That helps you have realistic expectations in your own relationships. You don’t expect perfection. You expect effort, honesty, and care. ✦  And Here’s the Hard Part... Not everyone got these things. And even now, a lot of kids and teens feel lost, confused, or hurt by the way they were raised. But that doesn’t mean you’re broken. It just means you now know what matters  — and what to look for, or offer, going forward. Because growing up is not just about leaving childhood behind… It’s about understanding it.  Learning from it. And creating a life that gives you — and maybe others — what was missing. That’s the real work of growing up. And you’re already doing it. 有时候孩子们会问自己: “我爸妈真的爱我吗?” “他们老是骂我,这算是爱吗?” “有时候我觉得他们根本不懂我……” 其实,大多数父母不是不爱孩子,而是他们也是第一次做父母,他们也在学习: 到底怎样才是“爱孩子”的方式。 那么,一个健康的童年,是什么样的呢? ❤️  1. 有人真的把你放在心上 你有没有这样的回忆?你生病时,有人整夜守着你;你哭的时候,有人不嫌你吵,反而轻轻抱你。 这叫“无条件的爱” - 不是因为你考第一、表现好才爱你,而是 你就是你,就值得被爱 。 小时候有被好好爱过的人,长大后才会更懂得怎么去爱别人。 👂  2. 被温柔地理解 有时候你“发脾气”、“闹情绪”,你希望的是:不是被骂“你又怎么了?”,而是有人问你:“你是不是太累了?”、“你还好吗?” 被理解,不是纵容,而是用善意来看待你的情绪和行为。 🧱  3. 陪伴,是最简单的爱 真正的爱,不一定是买很多东西,而是每天都在、不会忽冷忽热。哪怕只是每天陪你吃饭、听你说废话,也是一种 默默的“在乎” 。 习惯这种稳定的人,长大后才不会陷入“谁对我好我就拼命付出”的关系里。 🙆  4. 可以犯错的空间 谁都会犯错。健康的家庭不会因为你搞砸一次就觉得你没救了,也不会要求你一直是“别人家的孩子”。 他们告诉你: 你可以有情绪,可以出错,重要的是怎么面对和修正。 🧡  5. 父母不会把你当成比赛工具 有些爸妈总说:“你怎么不如谁谁谁?”但真正懂爱的父母会说:“你不一样,我喜欢你自己的样子。”他们不会把孩子当作自己的“面子”或“作品”,而是真心希望你活出自己的路。 🌧️  6. 教你面对失败和难题 好父母不会让你永远活在“顺利”的世界里,而是陪你经历难过、教你怎么处理问题。他们让你明白:“失败不可怕,怕的是不敢再试。” 这种态度会变成你内在的力量。 🌿  7. 能接受生活不是完美的 不是每个童年都像童话故事,但关键不在于完美,而在于:遇到问题时,有人愿意一起面对。你因此学会了 不逃避、不否定自己 。 👨‍👩‍👧  8. 看见真实的父母 你会慢慢发现,父母也是普通人,他们也会烦躁、会犯错、会有自己的情绪。 当你懂得这一点,你会开始学会理解别人,也不再期待“完美的人”来救你。 📘  最后想告诉你: 现在的你,也许已经不是小孩子,但你依然在成长 - 在学习怎么去爱别人、也怎么好好爱自己。有时候你会感觉不被理解,有时候父母的爱看起来很“笨拙”,但请记住:你值得被爱,你值得温柔地被对待。 爱,不是压力,也不是控制,而是让你 安心做自己,并慢慢地自由生长成你想成为的人 。

  • 关系让我们认识自己|Relationship Shows Us Who We Are

    往下拉阅读中文版。 What Relationships Can Teach Us About Ourselves Being in a relationship — like having a boyfriend, girlfriend, or just a really close friend — can be one of the best ways to learn more about who we really are. Why? Because when you spend lots of time with someone, they see all sides of you: the silly, the tired, the cranky, the caring. They hear what you say when you're not trying to sound smart or cool. And sometimes, they notice things about you that you don’t even realize yourself. They might remind you that you’ve told the same story millions times. Or gently ask if you’re too judging on someone. These small things can actually help us grow — they show us our blind spots and help us smooth out the rough edges. But here’s the catch: a lot of people leave relationships without learning very much. Why? Because of pride . It’s hard to hear that we might be annoying sometimes, or wrong, or not as funny as we think we are. So when someone we care about points something out, we might get defensive. We say they’re being mean. We think, “If you loved me, you wouldn’t try to change me.” But real love isn’t about pretending everything’s perfect. It’s about helping each other grow — with patience, kindness, and care. That means giving  feedback with love, and also being brave enough to receive  it. Here are 3 simple ideas to help relationships grow: 1. Let go of the “don’t change me” myth. Helping each other become a better version of ourselves doesn’t mean we don’t love them. It means we do. 2. Choose your moment. Don’t try to talk about something big when you’re angry or when the other person just came home soaked in the rain. Wait until things are calm. Then talk. 3. Speak with softness and share feelings. Instead of saying, “You always do this!” try: “Maybe we can try it a different way?” It’s easier to listen when words feel safe, not sharp. In the end, relationships can be powerful mirrors. They reflect who we really are — not just the nice parts, but also the parts we’re still working on. If we face those reflections with curiosity and kindness, love becomes more than just a feeling. It becomes a way to grow. 人与人之间的关系,其实是在帮我们认识自己,尤其是亲近的关系。 同学关系、朋友关系、同事关系、恋人关系,我们生活在这个世界上,既是一个个独立的人,却又不可能完全脱离关系而存在。我们交朋友、谈恋爱,不只是为了开心陪伴,其实也能帮助我们更了解自己。当你和一个人长时间相处,比如每天一起吃饭、聊天、发呆、分享心事,他们会看到你不戴“面具”的样子。他们会听见你真实的想法,看到你累的时候、开心的时候、耍小脾气的时候……有时候,他们甚至会指出一些你自己没注意到的事。 他们可能会说:“你这个事已经讲了五遍啦!”或者:“你是不是对这件事太偏见了?”虽然听起来像抱怨,但有时候这些不经意间的小情绪,甚至小冲突,反而会帮助我们成长。 可是很多人分开时,却没从关系里学到什么。为什么?因为我们都有点小小的傲慢心。我们希望被喜欢、被夸,而不是被指责。尤其是,当我们每个人都有着属于自己的防御机制时,我们很容易在与人相处时,觉得被评判、被误解、不被爱。我们甚至会想:“如果你真的在意我,就不会这么对我。” 但这种想法其实不太对。真正的爱不是“顽固做自己,什么都不改”,而是“愿意陪着彼此一起变得更好”。当然,这种帮助,方式很重要。我们有时候也不会表达,一着急就乱说话,把话讲得很伤人,还挑错时机。比如下雨天对方刚淋湿回家、工作上刚经历一次重大失误、疲惫不堪正准备睡觉……结果,本来想帮忙,却变成了吵架。 所以如果我们想和亲爱的人一起成长,让关系真的有成长的力量,可以试试这三个做法: 1. 不要再相信“爱就不能改变”的谬论 - 你们希望彼此变得更好,是因为你们彼此在乎。真正的爱,是包含成长的。 2. 选择合适的时机 - 不要在情绪很冲动的时候谈重要的事。等冷静下来,再聊会更有效。 3. 用温和的语言说真实感受 - 可以用“也许…”“我的感受是…”“有没有可能…”来开始。这样对方更愿意听,也不会觉得你在攻击他。 一段亲近的关系,常常不会因为一件大事结束,而是因为彼此不再愿意了解自己,不再愿意听,也不再温柔地说话。但人与人的关系真的是一个宝藏,它像镜子一样,照出我们的光芒、阴影、还有模糊不清的地方。如果我们能带着温柔、好奇和勇气去面对这些部分,那这份爱,就不仅能让我们开心,更能让我们变得更好,从而获得生命里的富足感。

  • 什么都不做有时候反而是真正的高效|Why Doing Nothing Is Sometimes the Most Important Thing

    往下拉阅读中文版。 A different way to think about “being productive” You’ve probably heard this before:  “Use your time wisely.”  “Stay focused.”  “Get things done.” And those aren’t bad ideas. But here’s something school and adults don’t always tell you: Some of the most important thinking happens when it looks like… you’re doing nothing. Yup. Sitting. Staring out the window. Taking a walk. Lying on your bed, daydreaming. Even just doodling in a notebook.  These quiet moments? They’re powerful. ✦  Why We Think “Busy” Means “Productive” For the last couple hundred years, the world has been all about work  — factories, offices, meetings, machines, emails, to-do lists… So now, many people believe: If you’re not busy, you’re being lazy. If you’re not rushing around, you’re falling behind. If you’re not checking off a list, you’re not being “productive.” But let’s stop and ask… Is that really true? ✦  The Big Ideas Don’t Always Happen at a Desk Think about it: Most world-changing ideas — inventions, books, art, music — didn’t come from people in loud, busy rooms. They often came when people were walking alone, relaxing, taking a bath, or sitting quietly by a window. That’s when the brain has space to wander… to imagine… to connect dots . When you’re not being pulled in a hundred directions, that’s when the real work  starts — the kind where you suddenly realize: “Wait… this path doesn’t feel right.” “Maybe I do want to try something new.” “What if I just… did the thing I’ve been afraid to do?” ✦  Why We Avoid These Thoughts But here’s the truth: A lot of those thoughts? They can be uncomfortable . Sometimes they tell you: “You’re not really happy doing this.” “You need to have a hard conversation.” “You’re scared of failing… so you’re hiding behind being busy.” It’s easier to scroll. Or clean. Or study more. Or stay up late “just finishing something.” Staying busy can become a way to avoid what you really need to face. ✦  What If You Measured “Productivity” Differently? What if we stopped counting how many tasks we finished…and started asking: Did I learn something about myself today? Did I give my brain time to rest and recharge? Did I let any new ideas come in? Maybe the kid sitting quietly with a notebook is doing deeper work than the one rushing to every club or class with no time to think. ✦  Try This 👉 Find 10 minutes of quiet.  No phone. No pressure. 👉 Look out a window, or lie on your bed. 👉 Ask yourself:  “What do I really  want right now?” “What’s been on my heart?” 👉 No judging. Just noticing. You might be surprised what comes up. A new idea. A truth you’ve been ignoring. Or maybe just peace. That’s not lazy. That’s honest . And brave. ✦  Final Thought Being productive doesn’t always mean moving fast. Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is pause . The courage to sit still — and listen to yourself — might be what leads you to your biggest breakthrough. So don’t be afraid to slow down. It might be the smartest thing you do all day. 你有没有过这样的感觉:每天都很忙,课也上了,工作也做了,开会、刷手机、参加活动,一样不少,可是心里却觉得……好像没真正做成什么事? 我们从小就被教导要“高效率”、“不浪费时间”,可是, 忙碌就一定有用吗? 📈  200年的变化 过去200年里,人类的生活变化快到不可思议。科技越来越发达,工作越来越高效,但人们的压力也越来越大,心也越来越累。好像谁越忙,就越厉害;谁越闲,就被说成“懒惰”。 可你有没有想过 - 也许,我们都误会了“高效率”的真正意义。 🧠  最厉害的点子,常常不是在努力“想”的时候出现的 伟大的科学发明,不一定出自办公室。很多创意,反而出现在这些时刻: 🚶 散步的时候 🛁 洗澡的时候 🚌 搭车的时候 🌤️ 对着窗外发呆的时候 因为这些“放空”的时候,大脑才真正开始自由思考。就像一条被解开的风筝线,终于可以飞得更远。 ⛔  只是忙碌 ≠ 真正有效 有时候,我们太专注在做完“任务”,却忘了问自己一个重要的问题:“我做的这些,真的是我觉得重要的吗?”完成很多事情,看起来像在“进步”,但如果方向错了,可能只是 越来越偏离真正的目标 。 🌱  给自己留一点“空白”的时间 你不需要24小时都很“努力”。真正聪明的人,会留时间给自己: ✨ 安静下来 ✨ 想一想 ✨ 感受一下内心的声音 有时候,一个不起眼的想法,可能改变你未来好几年的方向。 💬  别为“发呆”感到内疚 有些最重要的决定,不是在热闹中做出来的,而是在你独处、放空、思考的时候。所以,当你: 🌙 在床上闭着眼发呆 🌲 坐在公园长椅看树叶飘落 🌀 看着窗外云卷云舒 不要着急批评自己“又在浪费时间” - 你可能正在经历 最深刻的成长 。 🌟  最后想告诉你: 别被“看起来很成功”的样子骗了。真正富足的人,可能不是最忙的那一个,而是那个 -  🪟 能在阳光下静静弹琴的人 🧺 能在河边陪孩子玩水的人 🌼 能听清楚自己内心声音的人 你不必用别人定义的“效率”来证明自己,只需要学会聆听自己,在最安静的时刻,走出属于你自己的路。 记住:慢一点,不是退步,而是看得更清楚。发呆,不是偷懒,而是给灵感让路。你不是为了“做很多事”而活着,而是为了找到“真正重要的事”,那些关于你来到这个世界的使命。

  • 你今天照顾到自己内心的小孩了吗|Did You Take Care Of The Little You Today?

    往下拉阅读中文版。 We often say, “Be kinder to yourself.” It sounds easy, but in practice, it’s one of the hardest things to do. We know we should be more gentle with ourselves, but when things go wrong, we’re often the first to criticize, to deny our own feelings, to be harsher than anyone else ever would. Sometimes, it feels like being kind to ourselves is harder than being kind to others. When a friend is hurting, we comfort them. But when it’s our own pain, we dismiss it: “Don’t be so dramatic. Just tough it out.” It’s like we carry a strict headmaster inside us, constantly scolding and pointing out what we did wrong. Try this instead: Imagine yourself as a five-year-old child. That shy little kid is still with you—clutching the hem of your shirt—facing the adult world alongside you, every single day. Think about it. That small child has to sit through boring meetings, make awkward small talk at business lunches, handle stressful work calls, and still attend social events at night. To adults, it’s just another day. But to a five-year-old, it’s like navigating a series of impossible challenges straight out of an adventure story. We’ve gotten used to pushing through and telling ourselves “It’s not a big deal.” But if you saw an actual child trying to handle all of this on their own, your heart would break: “This little one must be so scared.” And yet, when it comes to ourselves, we forget that same compassion. The pain and exhaustion we ignore don’t just vanish. They show up in restless nights, sudden irritation, and that heavy, unexplained feeling of burnout. We keep telling ourselves we should be stronger, but we rarely pause to ask: “Are you tired right now?” Taking care of yourself isn’t complicated. It’s actually as simple as caring for a child: • “We have three meetings today. Would that five-year-old feel exhausted?” • “Another lunch with clients—would the little one feel too anxious to eat?” • “It’s already late and we’re still working. Is the child maybe just missing home?” This isn’t weakness. This is the most grounded form of tenderness. Admitting that there’s always a small, vulnerable child inside you who still needs love—that’s not immaturity. That’s courage. Real, grown-up courage. Because when we learn to treat ourselves the way we’d treat someone we deeply cherish, that’s when life finally starts to feel a little lighter. 我们常常说"要对自己好一点",但是这句话听着容易,做起来却特别难。明明知道该多心疼自己,可一到事儿上,还是忍不住苛责、否定,对自己比谁都狠。 仔细想一下会觉得,似乎对自己好比对别人好要难。朋友受委屈了我们会安慰,可轮到自己,反而觉得"矫情什么,忍忍就过去了"。这种别扭劲儿,就像心里住了个严厉的教导主任,整天板着脸训人。 不如试试这个小方法:把自己想象成五岁时候的样子。那个怯生生的小朋友,现在正牵着你的衣角,跟你一起面对成年世界的每一天。 想想看,这个小朋友要跟着你去开枯燥的会议,要陪客户吃尴尬的商务午餐,要应付难缠的工作电话,晚上还要强撑着参加社交活动。对大人来说这些是日常,可对一个五岁孩子来说,每件事都像冒险故事里的难关。 我们早习惯了咬牙硬撑,觉得"这有什么大不了的"。可要是真看见一个幼儿园小朋友要独自面对这些,肯定会心疼得不得了:"这么小的孩子,该多害怕啊!" 但轮到自己的时候,却总忘了这份体贴。 那些被我们忽略的委屈和疲惫,并不会真的消失。它们会变成失眠时的辗转反侧,会变成莫名其妙的烦躁,会变成突然涌上心头的无力感。我们总觉得自己应该更坚强,却忘了问问:"现在的你,累不累?" 其实照顾自己没那么复杂。就像对待小朋友一样简单: "今天要开三个会,那个五岁的你会不会困?" "中午又要应酬,小家伙会不会紧张得吃不下饭?" "加班到这么晚,小朋友该想家了吧?" 这不是矫情,而是最实在的温柔。承认自己心里永远住着个需要被呵护的小孩,不是软弱,反而是最成熟的勇敢。当我们学会像对待最珍视的人那样对待自己,日子才会真的变得轻松起来。

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