读懂自己与他人的应激反应｜Understand our trauma response

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A guide for when your emotions feel huge

Let’s be honest:

Sometimes we totally freak out. Over schoolwork.Over a text that didn’t get a reply. Over something someone said — or didn’t say. Over a deadline, a mistake, or a weird look in the hallway.

And later?

We usually calm down. We might even laugh about it. We wonder: Why did that feel like such a big deal?

But in the moment? It felt like the sky was falling.

✦ You're Not Alone

Here’s a secret: Everyone overreacts sometimes. Yes, everyone. Even the “calm” people. Even the ones who seem like they’ve got it all together.

The brain is fast. Emotions are faster. And when something feels new, scary, or just too much — it makes sense that we’d get overwhelmed.

✦ It Starts When We're Little

Think about a little kid who sees a dog and screams — Not because the dog is scary, but because it’s big, and loud, and they’ve never seen one before.

Everything is huge when it’s new - 

The first time someone yells at you? Feels like the end of the world.The first time your friend ignores you? Totally crushing.

Over time, we usually get better at calming down. But sometimes, those big reactions stick around — especially if no one ever helped us handle them.

✦ What Helps (and What Doesn’t)

🙅‍♂️ “Stop being dramatic!”

🙅‍♀️ “It’s not that bad!”

Those words don’t help. (They never really do.) But you know what does?

✅ Someone who stays calm when you're upset

✅ Someone who says, “I get why you’re feeling this way”

✅ Someone who doesn’t panic — and helps you breathe through it

If you didn’t grow up with someone like that, it’s not your fault. 

But here’s the amazing news: You can learn to be that person for yourself — and maybe even for others, too.

✦ Practice: “Zoom Out” for a Moment

Next time your heart is racing and your mind is spiraling, try this:

1. Pause. Even for five seconds.

2. Breathe. (Yes, really. Deep in… and out.)

3. Ask: “Will this matter next week?”

4. Ask: “What else is true right now?”

Because yes, the email was stressful. But also — the sky is beautiful today. And your friend sent a funny meme. And you are learning how to handle hard things.

Not everything is a disaster. Some things are just… annoying. Or awkward. Or temporary.

✦ Remember This About Other People

Sometimes when people snap, shut down, or overreact, we think: “Wow, what’s wrong with them?” But maybe they’re just overwhelmed. Just like you are sometimes. They’re not terrible. They’re just human — having a big feeling they don’t know what to do with.

✦ You Don’t Have to Be Perfect

You’ll still overreact sometimes. That’s okay. You’re still learning. So are other people. But now you know something powerful: Not every loud feeling is telling the full story.

And you can learn to breathe, pause, and choose a calmer path.

Not to be “good.”But to feel better.

✦ Final Thought

You are not “too much.”You are not “too sensitive.”You just feel things deeply — and no one ever taught you how to handle those feelings.

But it’s never too late to learn.

And the more you practice staying steady in storms — the more you become that steady person for others, too.

That’s not weakness. That’s real strength.

你有没有过这种时候？

🎒 工作做不完，整个人快炸了

📱 手机不见了，就像天要塌下来

😠 和朋友吵架，觉得全世界都在针对你

🖥️ 一次小小的失误，就想对自己彻底失望

这些时候，你可能会觉得：事情糟透了。完蛋了。撑不下去了。但过几天你再想起，可能会觉得：

“啊？我那时候为什么这么激动啊？”“好像也没多严重嘛……”

😮 我们为什么会“反应过度”？

其实，这不是你的错。很多人小时候，都没有学过怎么正确看待事情的“大小”。小时候犯了错，大人不是说“没事啦”，而是惊叫：“天啊你怎么回事！”有些父母自己的情绪就像过山车，所以他们也不懂得如何温柔地教孩子冷静下来。

于是你慢慢长大，学会了：

🌀 小事也很紧张

🌀 遇到问题不知所措

🌀 情绪一来就忍不住爆发

不是你“太敏感”，是你从来没被好好教过怎么慢慢来。

🪞 原来，我们都不是唯一这样的人

你觉得自己总是大惊小怪、情绪起伏，但你知道吗，你身边的同学、朋友、甚至爸妈，也都在自己的方式里“反应过度”过。他们只是没有说出来。很多时候，我们看到别人发火或冷漠，其实那只是他们在保护自己。就像你一样，不知道该怎么表达，只好选择生气、躲避、爆发。

💬 如果有人懂你，就会不一样

想象一下：在你情绪崩溃时，有一个人不急着批评你，而是说：“你是不是太累了？” “我陪你慢慢讲清楚。”

那一刻，你是不是会感觉 - 自己终于可以安心一点了。

🌱 改变，从觉察开始

虽然以前没人教我们怎么冷静、怎么不慌张，但我们可以从现在开始：

✅ 情绪来的时候，先深呼吸

✅ 问问自己：“这件事真的有我想的那么严重吗？”

✅ 给自己10分钟冷静下来，再做决定

✅ 对别人也多一点理解 - 他们可能也只是“没学会更好的表达方式”

✨ 最后想告诉你：

你不是情绪化，你只是在人生的路上慢慢学着理解自己。你可以对自己说：

“我不是没用，我只是现在还在学习怎么不慌。”

“我可以不急着爆炸，我可以停下来看看，是不是真的有这么严重。”

“我不需要完美，只需要一次比一次更懂自己。”

生活不是比赛，不是比谁快才会赢，而是学会在自己的节奏里，慢慢来。